In our series The Debate, our community of real moms tackle the pros and cons around common parenting choices. The truth is, like so many decisions around child rearing, there is no right or wrong answer. At HATCH, our job is to give voice to both sides of any debate, peppering real mom wisdom with the necessary facts so that you can make the best decision for you and your family.
For some of us, pregnancy is an automatic form of birth control. After all, who on earth could possibly want to bone down when they’re swollen, uncomfortable, veiny, pimply, gassy and just over it? If there’s ever a time to be the least horny person on earth, pregnancy could be it. (Postpartum would be another time. See where we’re going here?) Then, on the other hand, are the ladies whose hormones are just flaring up in all kinds of ways. We’re talking all-I-can-think-about, let’s-get-down-to-business, full-on horniness. Chalk it up to estrogen and progesterone, which increases vaginal lubrication, blood flow to the pelvic area and increased nipple sensitivity, but pregnancy could also double as a time when women are full-on FRISKY. As we do, we polled two mamas – one who couldn’t keep her hands off her partner; the other who could barely peck him on the cheek – to bring you both sides of the preggo sex coin.
Give Me Give Me Give Me More
Mama to Chloe, 9 months
“I don’t know when I started feeling super horny, perhaps somewhere around my second trimester. I had had a pretty easygoing first trimester and I was just feeling really good throughout. Bear in mind this was our first pregnancy, so it’s not like I was already sleep-deprived or chasing a toddler around the house. So we were able to really enjoy the pregnancy, cuddle together, nap together all weekend, which would undoubtedly lead to sex.
I didn’t mind that I was growing, or that I had this huge belly and cellulite all over the place. Pregnancy made me feel powerful and female and beautiful. I definitely felt like I was creating something magical and that made me feel aroused just thinking about it. Plus, once the lights are off, who actually cares what anyone looks like? Besides, I think all my husband actually noticed was my gigantic boobs!
I felt like my orgasms during pregnancy were really strong, which contributed to me wanting more of them! I read that there’s more blood supply around that area as well as more oxytocin, which is the “love hormone.” Either way, I loved it. Once I gave birth, it was a different story. I had a c-section and was totally out of commission for at least two months. We’ve had sex since, but we’re obviously exhausted. There was just something so magical and spectacular about that time.”
Don’t Ever Touch Me Again
Mama to Sophie, 13 months
“Is this even a question? There was no way. There was just no way. My body literally shut down all sex drive by, like 13 weeks. The second I gained a pouch it was over. Not to mention I was also super nauseous, constipated as hell, totally broken out and feeling the most unsexy of my life.
By my second trimester, when my morning sickness had settled somewhat, I could’ve probably explored the idea of having a semi-regular sex life. Don’t get me wrong, we did it, but it was more of a pity f*ck than anything else. I didn’t want my husband to lose all interest in me, nor did I want him going elsewhere for it (not that he would but I was feeling a little psychotic). I felt like it was my obligation to do it a handful of times throughout my pregnancy but it was few and far between. I’ve read all the Cosmo stories about women who are super horny during pregnancy. It just wasn’t me.
Now that my child has exited my body, I feel back to my semi-regular self in so far as sex drive. It’s not perfect by any means but we also have a six-month-old so I’m not putting any added pressure on myself. We do it when we can and I enjoy it way more now that I have my body back to myself than I did when I was sharing it.”