Sex during pregnancy is hard. When you’re not nauseous AF, you’re likely suffering from some of the other heinous side effects that can wreak havoc on intimacy. But sometimes, just sometimes, there’s nothing better than a sweaty preggo romp, when you’re bumping bellies and embracing your sexuality like the goddess you are (not to mention those killer orgasms). So, in the spirit of silliness and fun, we rounded up the most favorable sexual positions, and took a stab and what they *might say about you.
Topper: You’re always up for a girl’s night out, or quiet night in, and you love making others happy. It’s OK that your tired, swollen quads are burning as you ride your partner’s half-hard penis because he loves looking up at your milk-heavy D-cups, and that alone brings you pleasure.
Reverse Cowgirl: You’re all about zero. f*cks. given. Besides, making eye contact during sex is so early ‘aughts. You’d rather watch yourself in the mirror over your Room & Board dresser, so you’ve got that lowkey narcissist thing going, too. (Don’t forget to hit record!)
Doggy Style: Efficiency is the name of the game. What other positions offer you access to your phone AND your clitoris? There’s no reason you can’t schedule your next haircut while being penetrated from behind. Maybe your partner’s getting you off, maybe it’s you. Who cares? Check it off your list because you’ve got Netflix to watch.
Spoon: You love a good strand of pearls, a “Sunday funday” and the idyllic notion that sex, even at 30 weeks pregnant, can be romantic. Oh you dreamer, you. You keep making that sweet sweet love. We won’t judge.
Oral: You’d rather go celibate than give in to patriarchal standards of what constitutes actual “sex.” You’re also a GODDESS who’s growing another life and you deserve total pleasure without having to move a damn muscle. Sit back and enjoy. Other sex positions, take note.